The Skunk – Or How To Waste Three Days, Over $300 And Do EVERYTHING Wrong (Part Pepe Le Trois)

Yes, this is a music blog… Ummm… okay… 100.3 The Sound is getting me through… streaming on my stereo… also listening to CCR, John Fogerty and a lot of new stuff/new discoveries… like Yuck (Thanks, Caroline) and Declan O’Rourke (thanks WXPN)… Stay tuned for that… We’ll get back to the music soon, I promise… But right now I am on a skunk roll… though I wish it was Taylor Ham and mustard on a Kaiser Roll… Jersey thing…

And yes… sadly, the title (days and cash flow) will need to change… Tomorrow…

NIGHT 2 (Monday Night)
We continue briefly with Night 2.  Steph is now home from her business trip and picks J up… The stink is too much… No one wants to be anywhere near Skunk Ground Zero.  I don’t blame them.  I’d be gone, too… But who takes dogs, let alone still stinky dogs… She is better, but there are still  spots on her that just nail me in the nostrils.

Steph cannot get into her mom’s house, long story, so they stay at a hotel… Not the cheap one I suggest, but another local one that was just renovated.  Apparently the cheap one is disgusting… but when I ask if she has ever been, she says no.  Okay…

Alone… odd and yet calming… me and the Pooch… and… yeah… that… that horrific, odorous beast.  It is like the Fog Monster from Lost.

Days are melding together… having trouble recalling what happened when and where…

Did I mention the 1-Quart Hydrogen Peroxide/1/4 Cup Baking Soda/2 tsp. Dishwashing Liquid Soap bath yet?  Many friends said it was a must as did many, many articles on-line.  It actually seems to have worked.  Thank the Heavens.  You put it in a bucket… do not put it in a container, as it makes oxygen… and you wash it on a dry dog with a sponge or wash cloth… avoiding the eyes…

And I did forget to mention the great folks at Love’s Pets, who sold me Petastic, Skunk Odor Remover… You need to repeat the process… it is enzyme based and natural and safe and smells good… and now I use that as a touch up… which sadly is something I keep needing to do… Sigh…

DAY 3 (Tuesday)
The Winery Dogs are blasting as I write this… See, there is music… even here in Hell.  Now it is Pearl Jam… MUST go to that show.

Hiding under the sheets as I wake up… Could it be?  A Dallas or Bob Newhart dream episode?  Please let it be… Please…

I can smell the skunk on me… again.  Sigh… It’s back on what was, freshly washed sheets and pillow cases… Ugh.  I do not want to get up… Do not want to move.  I grab a clean pillow case… well one that did not smell AS bad and put it over my mouth and face… My mouth is dry and my tongue is literally swollen.  A headache rages for the second day in a row… I am sure the stink and all the chemicals and scents in the house are wreaking havoc on my chest and nose and sinuses…

I have never snorted cocaine… but I would imagine that the mess it is making with my nostrils is similar… I feel like Tuco Salamanca from Breaking Bad… you know, right after he snorts the meth… but without the crazy reaction, instant high, money and criminal element.

Okay… time to make the doughnuts… I mean go nuts…

Finally, I rally… Toss everything in the garage… Laundry will be running on a hotel schedule today… Can’t wait to see the electricity bill.

Need a break… run to the library to pick up a few CDs on hold and a book on Banh Mi… Love that sandwich, so many great varieties… but the idea of cooking in this kitchen at this moment… No way…

And you already KNOW where my food debauchery has taken me… and is about to take me.  Yet another notch in the belt… which now needs to be let out… at least six pounds up since Chicago… Not good… and now here comes another fall from grace.

After the library I get it in my craw that I need Del Taco… even though I have only eaten lunch a short while ago… What am I in, self-destruction mode?

So here I am, driving out of my way to continue on my downward, self-inflicted, culinary counter-intelligence spiral.

Why?  I don’t know… I just want to make myself suffer more… Ironically, I try to be healthy and order the 8-Layer Veggie Burrito with no sour cream… and one, more factory, hormonal and antibiotic-ed chicken soft taco.  Of course throw in the Freshly Made Strawberry Lemonade for a dollar.  I mean she suggested it… and it’s a buck!  How could I say no?

I screech out of the drive thru… Rip into the bag… and whoa… To add salt to the insult… Yes, mixed metaphor… I got Gringoed!!!  When I look in the bag all I see is the Mild hot sauce.  Are you kidding me?  I drink Del Scorcho for breakfast, sister!

I now run to Home Depot… grab 7 bags of The Gonzo… some volcanic rocks that come in a bag, are dusty as hell and are supposed to eliminate every odor… Thanks for the tip, Betsy!  Fingers crossed.  I am sure I did not need all of them, but what the hell… this big spender wants one in every room…

Of course, I forget to pick up new AC filters… look for the scent-free Febreeze… according to Shea it is what the professionals use and is stronger…

Brain is on overload, and focus so singular.  Not good… Sometimes yes, but now… no.

Eddie Vedder is shredding his chords, singing “This is not for you.  This is not for you.”  He is singing to me.  I know, Eddie, I know.

You are damn right.  DAMN RIGHT!

It’s not over folks… At this point we ALL wish it was… but keep checking back… keep reading… I’ll be here tomorrow…

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Filed under Life... Plain and Not So Simple, Marc's Mixed Bag - A Little Of Everything

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