Today’s story is entitled “The Same Mistake Twice… Or Phish and Floss.”
Once upon a time there was a guy from Jersey. Actually he was conceived and born in New York City… but spent his formative years in the Garden State.
He tried to live his life learning from his mistakes, but apparently needs some more schooling… Home schooling perhaps! But here he is to tell you himself…
It’s not supposed to happen… As a somewhat intelligent, usually smart guy, I am not supposed to make the same mistake over and over…
Once burned, twice shy… Fool me once, shame on you; Fool me twice, shame on me… That sort of thing.
Every time I go to the dentist they say the same thing… Are you flossing every day? Doh!!!
And if you’re using an electric toothbrush, let it do the work, don’t help it. My lower gums are receding, which could mean big trouble later on, and if you push too hard or move an electric brush around too much, you risk major gum damage. But sometimes when I’m in a rush, I guess I do add a little zing to get the brushing done faster… Stop it! It’s about the time and quality… not speed… Heck, I yell at my daughter to brush for the full three minutes… But she wants to be done faster than me, and is entering the US trials for the 30-second tooth sprint later this month!
One of my favorite expressions from my dentist, whose only flaw is that he is a big USC fan, is when he says “Only floss the teeth you want to keep.” It’s funny, but also a nice simple reminder to floss. One needs to floss… it is the only way to get the food and bacteria and tartar build up out of your mouth and in those hard to reach areas. Oooh! I said tartar and hard to reach!
And now recent scientific data says that flossing can apparently help prevent heart disease and heart attacks… something about getting rid of the bacteria, etc.
Not sure where this is from, but… “Recent medical research indicates that your risk of a heart attack at least doubles if you have periodontal disease. That puts periodontal disease right up there with cholesterol as a risk factor for heart attacks, the leading cause of death in America.”
So what happens when I don’t floss… Aside from bad breath and mouth gunk… I was at the dentist last week, and the hygenist killed me… Yes, some are more gentle than others… but she is usually nice and easy… and certainly a lot less… evil. Every scrape, every touch was sheer pain. With each flex of the metal tool of torture I could feel a prick and the warm flow of blood. I wanted to cry or scream, but my male ego kept me in check… Well, that and her beautiful green eyes. Relax!
She’s married, I’m married… Easy does it… But seriously, her eyes kept me calm and well… for lack of a better word… macho. When we were done, I promised, once again, to floss almost every day… I’ve been better… but nowhere near what I need to be doing.
My other mistake is Phish… I love Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food. It may just be my favorite flavor… up there with Cherry Garcia and Triple Caramel Chunk. But for whatever reason, I never got into the band, Phish. Just never really listened. I mean if a song came on the radio I would not shut it off… I just never pursued them.
It’s kind of like when I was in High School and the only kids I saw into the Dead were the stoners… I was fairly clean cut, and so I never gave them a listen. Stupid! The Dead are now one of my favorite acts, and I am sure I would have seen them all the time if I had just listened back then… Luckily, I did get to see them live back in the 80s, but man…
So here I am listening, for the first real time, to Phish’s recent Bonnaroo set… and oh man, they are so good. My kind of intelligent, musically literate, fun and funky, rocking jam band. What a fool I have been… Why did I not listen?
I still have dreams of going to Bonnaroo, but when I see the naked, sweaty, dirty and often painted bodies… and young face-painted celebs I feel my age and my lack of backstage credentials. But someday… someday…
Luckily Phish is back out of retirement, so hopefully I can catch them live… and definitely catch up musically…
Junta… Billy Breathes… A Live One… and Phish Live 14 should do the trick! I’ll keep you posted.
So there you go… In the meantime, heed my advice…
Floss and Phish every day and you’ll be happy and on your way.