Remember, Forever and Always

This is an entry I will feature on both blogs, as I feel it is one of the most important I can and will write.

Yom Hashoah, the Holocaust Remembrance Day is not until April 21st… but I felt it was imperative to discuss something about it today.

Apparently there are folks who heard comments from people saying they are tired of hearing about the Holocaust… “Enough,” the say, “We’ve heard it all… we know it was terrible… get over it.”

Get over it? Aside from this being an incredibly callous and ignorant comment, it is, perhaps more importantly, a dangerous one. No one wants to live in the past, but if we do not learn from it, and remember it… I mean REALLY REMEMBER IT, then we are condemned to make the same mistakes over and over… and unfortunately, as evidenced in Rwanda and Darfur, this is a lesson WE HAVE NOT LEARNED!

We must also remember that there is a major difference between simply not forgetting and actually remembering.

As we get closer to a time when there will be no survivors, no direct witnesses to what  happened in Europe less than 70 years ago, I might add, we must take up the proverbial torch and shine it brighter than ever on what is one of the darkest periods in history and a horrific blight on mankind.

Over 11 million people were killed. 11 million. Stop… really think about that number. It was not just Jews… but gypsies, gays, Russians, the handicapped… it was 11 million people. 

What happened in Germany was a systematic, government led attempt to wipe out an entire race of people… an entire religion… Over half of all Jews in the world were killed.

What is completely disingenuous to me, is the way certain people have hijacked the term Nazis and Holocaust… They have taken those words and tried to cheapen them at every turn. I’m sorry, but the Palestinians and the world have no right to call what happens in Israel a Holocaust. Nor do they have the right to call the Israelis Nazis. 

This is not to say that Israel is perfect and flawless and blameless. They are not. But they also do not systematically march the Palestinian children into gas chambers, nor do they force them into “work” camps, nor do they line up thousands of them at a time and gun them down and then simply push them into a mass grave… Despite what the evil and deceptive and yes, absolutely false web site Jew Watch says… Please write Google and ask them to remove such a disgusting, hate mongering site.

Saddam Hussein did this… Pol Pot did this… Kim Jung did this… Stalin did this… This is what is being done NOW in Darfur and was done in Rwanda. I do not think that these should be called anything other than what they were and the criminals behind these horrific crimes need to be named as themselves, not “another Hitler” or a “New Nazi.” We need to say the individual names aloud, for all to hear…

We also need to say the names of the dead… with loud, strong voices… the names and ages and where and how they died. This is what we did the other day in a family class we go to. It was powerful and made it real. It needs to be real.

There is a great and provocative quote in The History Boys, a film that seemed to get lost in the shuffle, but one I find remarkable and moving and thought provoking…

“… there is no better way of forgetting something than by commemorating it.”

What I think it means or at least what I took it to mean… is that it is easy to put up a wall and be done… or a statue and be done. Or a memorial and be done. We commemorated the event and now we do not have to think of it or revisit it again, because the statue will stand the test of time. But that is metal or stone… and the remembering needs to be in flesh and blood and visceral memory. Our heart NEEDS to ache, so we feel. Our head needs to pound and spin…

We do need a separate day to remember the Holocaust… and we should and must NEVER “get over it.” 

In Israel, there is a siren and the entire country stops… STOPS… for a minute of silence and reflection and remembrance. I have not been there, but those who have, said it is one of the most incredible and moving things you could ever experience.

Do we all really remember 9/11? That was only 8 years ago. Do we really think about Darfur? I mean really, aside from a check mailed off to an organization?

The Holocaust was the Holocaust… It needs to stand alone… For if we do not remember, then humanity is truly lost. And genocide all over the world will be overlooked and forgotten again and again and again.

Get over it? No, never… Move beyond it? Grow in spirit and intelligence, in heart and soul? Yes! Learn from it? Please! But do not ever get over it. Ever.

Back to the Horses and the BBC

Back to the horses. The other day Bozie and I went for our almost daily walk. Bozie is my dog, for those who may be confused… We turned the corner and were amazed, or at least I was, to see two spectacular horses on the sidewalk. One was eating some grass, talk about a natural lawn mower and the other was saddled up and Diane was on her… or him… I did not check that closely… ready to go for a ride.

These are the horses I usually see at the top of the hill, but they are that much more magnificent up close and in your face.

Bozie started barking, like she was gonna take them both on. The visual humor is lost here… but suffice it to say, Bozie is a total of eight pounds… wet… and is basically a platinum Yorkie… technically she is a mix, but the Yorkie genes seem to have won out.

Her coloring is amazing… to the point where I was once standing outside of a Trader Joe’s waiting for the girls to come out, when a woman and her daughters approached me and asked if I took the dog to the stylist for highlights. While I’m sure there are people who do that, I would never, and had a rat her good laugh about it.

I grabbed Bozie in my arms and walked her close to one of the horses, but she started back pedaling like a politician… and I thought she was gonna jump out of my arms, so we backed off… After a nice conversation and Bozie clearly wanting to walk away, we continued on…

Sorry for this non-sequitur, but I am not sure how else to move on to the next item…

For anyone who actually pays attention to this blog… ooh, a challenge… you know how much I love my BBC.  One of the shows I recently got into was Father Ted. It is somewhat wacky, occasionally philosophical and always funny…

Another non-sequitur, for those who missed last week’s Flight of the Conchords, (Episode “Unnatural Love“) find it and TIVO it… I have not laughed out loud in a long, long time.  They are clearly coming into their own this season. Don’t get me wrong, the show was funny from the start, but the “Sugalumps” from the “New Cup” episode… and the song and “Too Many Dicks on the Dancefloor” from this past week (“Unnatural Love“) are utterly brilliant and decidedly hysterical!

So back to Father Ted…

According to Wikipedia… “Dermot Morgan, who played the title role, died in 1998, aged 45, from a heart attack he suffered during a celebratory party the day after filming the final episode.”

The bio on the disc simply said he died the day after filming the final episode…

I was stunned. As far as comic timing goes, it could not be a more perfect end… but 45… You finish the show that made you a star and then boom… that’s it… 45. That’s a hard one to take.

And it’s hard to watch the show knowing this… I mean, I still get caught up in the humor and crazy situations… but it’s the same thing with Beatles tunes… usually and most of the time I am swept away, just taken by the music and the majesty that comes with the greatest rock and roll band ever… and so many of the greatest songs ever written.  The music will always stand on its own… but sometimes my brain just latches onto the fact that John and George are dead. That’s it. Gone. Never coming back. Sometime it seems so unreal… How can it be? How can they be gone? How can Warren Zevon and Danny Federici and Heath Ledger be gone??? How can John Lennon and George Harrison be gone?

Oh man…

You Can’t Go Back… Or Can You?

CUE THE ALLMAN BROS. “JESSICA”

When one stands at the crossroads, deciding whether or not to sell one’s soul, the decision comes down to a multitude of paths… You can go back to where you came from and try to figure out how to make it work… you can sell your soul and see where that road leads… or you can take a path less traveled, the true path of the unknown. In other words, moving forward with all that you have and know, but unsure of where you are going. Maybe this isn’t so rare… I don’t know.

Come on… Eric Clapton and Robert Johnson would have been too on the nose… I wanted some road music… and this may be the best road song/traveling music ever written.

The Cross Roads… fear of the unknown makes people hesitant… it is, simply put, the fear of change. For anyone who disagrees about the paralyzing power of fear… watch Defending Your Life, Albert Brooks’ most brilliant and completely satisfying film to date. I fell in love with Meryl in this movie… strangely more in this than in almost any other.

I am at the proverbial and literal cross roads. One potential path is to go back to school to get my teaching credential and eventual Masters. A good path for sure, but a year of outgoing expenses and little to no income is daunting. Yesterday I had an informational meeting at CSUN… and while I was not the oldest one in the room… I think I was #3… I felt both good and bad at being in a college classroom again.

As I strolled on campus, I couldn’t tell if people thought I was a student or professor or what. Most folks did not seem to even notice. Come on, at least give a glance! Stroke my ego a little bit.

Walking on campus instantly triggers memories, but for me, it also triggers regrets… all the things I did not do that I should have done… all the craziness I ignored or did not hold onto long enough to really remember… journeys not taken, beers not drunk, girls not… you get the idea…

Accentuate the positive, dude!  Come on! There is no past, only the present, only the now… and what lies ahead. Embrace it, savor it… Enjoy it!

I find the idea of getting another degree exciting… and I love kids and know I would make a great teacher… But is that my path… I don’t know. The very notion of change… the daunting application process… the costs involved… they overwhelm and lay heavy upon me. But I know I cannot let that crush me… whatever path I take, the only way to make headway is to move forward.

I still want to write, which I can do whenever… I still yearn to act… but on my terms and not in a one or two line, elevated background scenario.

So here I am… my stock portfolio looks the McDonald’s Value Menu… the country is in the worst economic shape I can recall and I am trying to enter a dead jobs market. Ahhh… the “something to fall back on” line every parent gives is certainly looking like the most stellar advice ever offered up. Doh!

J if you are listening… they were right, I was wrong. Dream and dream big, but always have something to fall back on.

CUE: JASON ROBERT BROWN’S “SOMEONE TO FALL BACK ON.”

Folks, this is one of the most beautiful songs I have ever… ever heard! Go get it. Really! Run!

My blog needs a soundtrack! How do I do that?

Comfortably Numb (Part 2)

So now we get to it… at  least  a little more directly…

Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd may still be my favorite song… At the very least it is in the Top 10. But the desire to understand and fulfill its meaning, or what I now perceive the song to really mean, has just hit me.

When the world around us pelts us with pain and fury, we want to go numb… comfortably numb.

First off, let me say that the odds of me becoming a drug addict are about slim to none.

I do not like needles… I am aware I would be the one case who would go crazy or rob a bank… and I have no disposable cash.

I don’t want people freaking out like they did when I sent some e-mails to my family and friend list… They were supposed to be heartfelt salutes, but my peeps thought I was on the verge of suicide.

I’m fine… relax… Really…

Maybe the mid life crisis deal is in full swing… there are changes going on all around me… Things I recognize… things I don’t… like I’m in Dorothy’s house, heading to Oz and about to crash on top of the Wicked Witch of the East…

I’ll never forget what a friend said to me years ago… it was one of the most profound expressions I have ever heard, and came on the heels of a really bad day… She just looked up at me and said “my whole life hurts.” I felt horrible for her… but I love that… I mean she meant it in such a sweet and serious way… “My whole life hurts…” Speak those words, listen to them… it is a beautiful way to confess some real pain.

I think we all feel that way sometimes… that life has beaten us down. And as we get older and see dreams never realized… goals never reached… and the little things, the monotony of life taking over, it is hard not to feel, well, beaten up a bit.

My realization comes from within me and from outside of me. To truly understand, one really needs to be listening to Pink Floyd and then Duncan Sheik’s “That Says It All” while reading this.

It is so beautiful… so emotionally majestic… so profound… and sad…

Go get it… buy it at itunes or Amazon… really… Right now… Go!!!

Listen to it and come back. Re-read this… and you’ll get it. Or maybe you’ll send me a note asking if I’m okay… and wondering why I went to print again with something that perhaps should have been put in the drawer…

Because I’m reaching out, folks… trying to find a common thread between me and my generation… Trying to find a way to happiness and not just get comfortably numb.

Did you get the song? Here are just a few snippets…

“… Mr. Jagger said it best. He knows you’ll never get no satisfaction…

Chorus:

That says it all, doesn’t it?

We always want what we never get.

Well listen here my friend,

I can’t continue to pretend that it’s all right.

Cause that ain’t right… That ain’t right.

… Mr Wilson took some pills and I don’t blame him.

It’s hard to be alive…

Chorus.

My other realization is this… some of us are Mozarts and some of us are Salieris… and right now, I am haunted by a line that haunted me even as a kid… strange…

Salieri looks up to the heavens and says…

“If he didn’t want me to praise him with music…why implant the desire? And then deny me the talent!”

I am not saying I am untalented… far from it… but I am not performing for the king… and not making music that will last beyond me. What I want to leave for my daughter more than anything is beautiful music and art.

Comfortably Numb

Very often we write things down in order to purge them from our minds. It is a very personal and emotional release and a great way to get stuff out of our brain. The question is… to send or not to send… to publish and share, or tuck away in a drawer.

I am a firm believer that 100% honesty is NOT always the best policy. That is not to say that lying is good and we should do it all the time… but there are times when it is best to swallow some things and keep them to ourselves.

Letters Never Sent… I always loved this sentence… this idea…

I had it in my brain way before Carly Simon used it as the title of her 1994 album and most definitely before there was a web site by the same name where you can “get those feelings off your chest by letting you share those letters with the whole world…”

I have a lot of letters never sent… a lot of things never said. Maybe some day they will be released and set free into the world… Maybe not.

Joe Torre’s recent tell-all book is a good example. The LA Times actually gave it a good review… when it was talking about the game and Torre’s life… but when the book ventures into gossip and innuendo, one has to wonder why someone so revered and respected would tarnish his own image by tarnishing others. What was the point? Where was the class? Where was the rising above the fray? It’s sad that tabloid journalism has found its way into the once great and classy publishing houses, places that would normally never have stooped so low.

The backlash has been swift and fierce… and yes, it will all blow over… but memories are long and in a few years, he might be hard pressed to go into the Hall of Fame in a Yankees uniform.

Sometimes it is better to just keep your mouth shut… or at least shut the cap on the permanence of a pen and the written word.

As I said above… before I started my blog, I wrote a few very personal pieces about the deaths of some icons who had a major impact on my life… specifically George Carlin, Harvey Korman and Sydney Pollack. I made the mistake of sending them to family and friends and while most people saw what I was going for and could totally identify, my mom and brother seemed to think I needed to be put on suicide watch… I mean, really… I have never gotten so many e-mails of concern… Are you okay? Do you need to talk to someone? It’s not so bad, etc.

What I’m about to say borders that line… So do I say it or do I tuck it away… shove it back in the brain… or shove it in a word file that may or may not be found. That’s a whole other story… I am rarely at a loss for words… but the actual losing of words… devastating… and it just happened!

What  I want to say is just an observation and a true understanding of why people do certain things. It’s just what is hitting me now, at this moment.

And… ooops… Okay, I am not doing this for any other reason than that my friend said blogs should be 600 words or less… and since I beyond that… There’s 603… Shit… I just wasted a few more words writing this… Come back tomorrow for Comfortably Numb, Part 2…

Yeah, I’m a bastard… a cliff hanging blog… dick!

xxoo

The Sort of Mid-Life Crisis…

In movies and TV shows a mid-life crisis is usually indulged with the purchase of a new, high end sports car and/or an extra-marital affair.

I have no money and I do not know how my wife would take the latter part of that sentence… although Big Love has given me an interesting, new perspective… I have missed a good part of this season and season’s past, but the show is fascinating and the look, the deep look at multiple and simultaneous marriage is provocative and mind tingling. Hmmm…

Perhaps there is a weekend of binge drinking or a variety of illegal narcotics… or perhaps it goes beyond a weekend.

I like my booze, but not to the point of vomit… and getting drunk holds little appeal. As far as drugs, I am well aware that I would be the one case to go rob a bank or streak naked through a church, so I restrain. And pot, which I do believe should be legal, relaxes me… but usually to the point of immediate sleep. I literally laugh… ha ha ha… and then I’m out.

My drug of choice is Valium, but I am completely dysfunctional on it. It makes my whole body numb… numb is good… and warm and heavy… which is nice… but other than lying in bed and enjoying that weight… I am incapable of moving or doing anything else.

I will never forget a card from my friends Ron and Mary, I think it was for our engagement… that had one Valium in the middle of a heart. Classic! I think I kept the card with the pill still attached. Damn, where is that now???!!!

(The Comfortably Numb blog is coming… a more in depth realization of the allure of drugs… or at least people’s desires to go numb.)

Anyway… so the above descriptions is the media’s distorted and Hollywood”ized” version of the mid-life crisis.

In my mind, it is bit less glamorous… although the ramifications have yet to fully present themselves.

Now, if you pay attention to this blog, you know I have self determined to live until I am 99… sadly passing on the eve of my 100th birthday… It just sounded good… and right…

So therefore, I am not actually at the mid-point of life… if my plan plays itself out.  I am, however, at the proverbial crossroads… and it is filled with uncertainty with my path towards the future… and an intense and numbing sadness at dreams unfulfilled.

The chances of having an actual career as an actor seem slim, and while I never wanted to be a star, the notion of being a working actor is harder to achieve then ever before. If you want to discuss the issues facing SAG and the “middle class” actor, let me know and I’ll fill you in. It’s ugly.

All I wanted was to entertain and make a living… albeit a very nice living… as an artist… actor… writer… producer… what have you. It will never completely leave my being, but it is being put on hold. Luckily, I can always write… and this blog is a good way of making me sit my ass down on an almost daily basis… but my issue with writing is always on the focus and the finish. I have 100 great ideas and maybe two-three finished! Not good.

So… my sort of mid-life crisis is filled with frustration and confusion and the overwhelming idea that it is too late for me to make a difference in the world… I know this is bullshit, but there are days when I think it’s all downhill from here… Of course, being out of shape and overweight does not help… Remember Will Fit called me obese…  I am trying. I was at the gym this morning… will hopefully be back there tomorrow… and will do Pilates on Friday…

Now if I could just stop eating fifty “small” meals a day…

PS – Why is the spell checker telling me “with” is not a word???

Marc ee Loves the Ladies…

Okay, that sounds so cheesy, but I guess since that was my intention, it worked.

I often joke about how on paper I am totally gay… I love my Robert Graham shirts with a passion that is scary… I love musicals, especially the Stephens… Sondheim and Schwartz… I love fine wine and gourmet foods… I love to shop… I love to cook… you get the idea.

The only issue and what keeps me from fulfilling my true Judy Garland destiny, is that I love the ladies. Well, that and the idea of snuggling up against another, well, me… just doesn’t turn me on. Hey Springsteen or Bono and I could see the light… but me??? Nah.

Where the hell am I going with this? Probably not where you think. Or maybe not where I think… What the hell am I doing… Oh yeah…

I love the ladies now more than ever… the lady singers that is. Sorry, had to throw that in or face getting tossed out of the house.

For the record, I told you about Duffy way before she hit it big in the US. I credit my friend Mark for that intro., so I cannot take full thanks, but I did push her as soon as I heard her. Really… and this was before the blog, I think. It was when I was driving folks crazy with my periodic music list e-mails. Okay, most people actually liked those e-mails.

So now J loves Duffy… Yeah, one step closer to leaving Miley in the dust!

Thanks to Starbucks, I got the free Adele single, “Chasing Pavements.” If you have not heard this kid… and yes, I said kid as I think she just turned 20… she is amazing. The whole CD titled 19 is brilliant… and you must get the Special Edition as her live version of “That’s It, I Quit, I’m Moving On…” is an instant classic. She absolutely deserves the Grammys she won!

Jenny Lewis, of Rilo Kiley has put out two fantastic solo albums and her latest Acid Tongue is a great listen from start to finish.

Goldfrapp and their album Seventh Tree is not new, but volunteering at KCRW last week reminded me that I had yet to check it out.  It is definitely out there and may be an acquired taste… but obviously my buds are good to go, because it tastes good to me. That just sounds wrong and dirty.

Jennifer Hudson. Here’s the thing. I liked her in Dreamgirls and loved what she did with “And I’m Telling You, I’m Not Going.” I thought, as did many people, that, that song won her the Oscar. I was a little jealous, I guess. One song and she’s at the coronation… What about the rest of the film… what about her acting chops???

But I have watched the movie many times since then… and her performance grows on me each time. She is good… really good… and her voice… Wow… how did she not win American Idol???  Yes, her Super Bowl performance was canned… they made her do it… but it was still breathtaking and inspired… and her album is fantastic! And when I think about her strength in the face of unbelievable tragedy… she is truly amazing!

Next time we’ll deal with some dudes… Glasvegas needs more of your attention… and I am in the middle of digesting my newest discovery, Kinky, thanks to a phone call I answered for KCRW… Man, do I looooove that station!

Plus the Grammys inspired my inner Rap star so we can chat about L’il Wayne and T.I., and I have been on an odd re-exploration of the progressive rock of Yes.

The Horses

I certainly hope I am not repeating myself… I know this is something I have talked about before, but honestly, I cannot recall if it made the blog or not. Sue me if it did.

Growing up in North Jersey, my only exposure to horses… get your mind out of Equus, would ‘ya?… was the occasional pony ride at the Turtleback Zoo or Van Saun Park… and the every-once-in-a-while sighting of the horseback riding cops in Central Park… and oh yeah, the horses at the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus… My point is that I was not often on horses… and really had little interest.

There are a lot of horse properties near where we now live in California… Not as many as Hidden Hills, where the air surrounding the multi-million dollar homes smells of… well… very expensive poop… and every home seems to have a ring… but there are enough within walking distance of our house, that I can see a horse or at least hear it bray, every day. Easy, easy… we ain’t in a million dollar pad… we happen to be in a nice neighborhood, but on the wrong side of the tracks or divide or whatever the paved brick thing in the middle of the street is, that separates the small ranch houses from the rest of the big ones… I’m totally serious! I’ll show you the divider. It’s odd.

Anyway… the last time I was actually on a horse, was when I decided to take a date to Griffith Park. I don’t know if I picked the wrong rental place, but my horse was pure evil. First off, I did not know to take it in the knees, so every time I went up I landed with a thud on my ass. To say I was in pain afterwards would be like saying Rush Limbaugh likes to hear himself talk (Sorry, I’m on a Limbaugh kick)… As we came around the final turn, the horse ran me into a fence. This was exacerbated by the jagged piece of twisted, sharp metal that happened to catch on my jeans and literally ripped them open from waist to ankle. I love David Lee Roth, but this was not the look I was going for. All I can say, is thank G-d it did not hit skin. I was really lucky… well…

The end of the date was also the end of the relationship… One and out! I dropped a ton of dough, went out of my way to come up with an original romantic afternoon, and wound up in bed for two days… by myself! Sore back and ass… check. Blue balls… check… Single again… check. Lovely.

So that seemed to be the end of my equine relations. Until years later, when I hiked into the hills by our house and came upon a nice little shady spot, overlooking the old Buddy Ebsen estate. There I saw the family training their horses and I could not stop staring. It was peaceful and calming and these creatures were… well… magnificent. I could literally sit there for hours. I was transfixed.

Today, when I was walking the pooch, another neighbor was training one of her horses. She is out there all the time and apparently trains Olympians…. and I have met her at school a few times and she is totally cool… but try as I might, J has no real interest in riding. Sad, but a big money saver for sure! So there I am… staring… literally glued to the ground (bad choice of words)… my legs were heavy and did not want to move. I did not want to move.

Occasionally I could catch a glimpse of her and I would see the horse at one point every minute or so as he ran the ring… but it was the sound that stood out… the crack of her whip… not on the horse of course, come on… but that sound… and the braying and the huffing and the clapping thud of the hooves as they hit the dusty ground. I was transported. It was purely magical. I love that sound… all those sounds. How odd to think of the immense pleasure I get just from those sounds and from the sight of a horse. Who would have thought? Not me, that’s for sure.

Where it goes from here, who knows… maybe someone will cast me in a Western… or maybe I’ll finally write the one I came up with years ago… Either way, today I took time to smell the horses… and I loved it!  Loved it!

Ring Around the Moon

In an attempt to stop and smell the roses more, I wanted to write about something I just saw for the first time… or at least the first time I remember seeing something like this… or the first time it had the impact it did.

We got home from a lovely dinner with some good friends… good food, good wine, good conversation… just a nice, relaxing and pleasant evening.

Usually when we are gone so long, I make a bee line to the pooch, so she can make a bee line to the yard and relieve herself.

We went out to the backyard and she made her move, when I looked up to the sky… The moon was not quite full and looked rather tiny… but it was surrounded by a circle of light… a ring around the moon. I have never seen this before. It was breathtaking. I ran into the house and got the girls… I picked Julianna up and they were amazed, too.

It was as if we lived in a dome and someone cut a perfect circle out of the very top… and perfectly placed the moon in the middle. I don’t know the scientific reason, but it was magnificent.

I’m guessing that it might have something to do with the extra moisture in the air, as it was almost like a rainbow without colors. And the other thing I noticed was the extra time my breath lingered in the air.

I love that anyway… watching your warm breath make itself into smoke and flutter out of your mouth and into the cold air… but tonight was not too cold… it was comfortable… and again, there was a definite post-rain precipitation… water was hanging in the sky… and my breath lasted much longer than usual… it just fluttered gently through the air… almost like a smoke or fog machine.

After the girls went in, I just stood there… staring at the moon and the circle and my breath as it traveled upward and eventually dissipated and disappeared. I could  have stood there for hours.

Such a simple thing… moisture and light… moisture and warmth… simple, but beautiful. A little gift from G-d or nature or whatever you believe. And I took the time to see it and share it and really enjoy it.

Life Size Role Models

First off, I just want to make sure we all remember that we lost actual human beings on 9/11… friends, family, fathers and mothers, bothers and sisters, etc. 

Sean Caton was a high school buddy and I thank the folks who keep his memory alive. It is easy to forget… but we must never forget. Eight years… Do not ever forget what was done to us.

http://www.seancaton.com/?jmid=134&j=228899517

So I watched most of the Grammy’s last night and when my daughter got all excited to see Chris Brown, I cringed. For those who don’t know, he was arrested for domestic violence against Rihanna, and they both cancelled their appearances.

Hitting someone goes way beyond “bad behavior;” this is criminal, obviously. We do not know the circumstances, yet… so we do need to reserve some judgement, but… come on.

I go back and forth as to whether or not celebs really have an obligation to be role models. Just because you are an actor or a musician, does not and should not mean you have to be an angel. It’s your life and you have to live it the way you want to live it. That’s what being free is all about.

If you want to have an affair, that’s your business. I don’t know the circumstances of your marriage. But when it turns for me, is when you stand up on a pedestal and tell us what a great family man you are… what a great husband you are… The hypocrisy is what gets me more than anything else. Keep your mouth shut and live you life as best you can. But don’t tell me that you think Bill Clinton is a criminal while you are getting a BJ from your aide. It will come back to bite you in more ways than one. Ouch!

For kids growing up in the spotlight, I would imagine it is even harder… they have no past to look back to… no personal guidelines… just hopefully a strong family and strong parents who can offer support, wisdom and guidance.

But my perspective is different now that I am a father, my daughter looks to these same people for fashion cues and where it gets scary, behavioral cues. Although… the fashion can be scary, too sometimes!

I am lucky, because she knows that Lindsay Lohan’s behavior is wrong… even if she, thank G-d, does not completely understand it. But I am getting tired of having to explain away another series of Miley Cyrus pics… For the record, I am so over her it is not funny. Enjoy it while you can, kid… because I do not see you having a career as an adult.

I hated watching how excited my kid got over Chris Brown, and especially hated having to tell her that he got arrested.

I guess if you choose a life in the spotlight, and you are getting paid by the general public, then you do have an obligation to behave in a way that is moral and ethical. Many athletes and performers have moral clauses in their contracts… Look, your behavior in the world becomes part of your job. Sorry. If you agree to be a spokesperson for a company or product, then yes, they can demand you behave in a certain way.

Do I think pot should be legalized? Yes, I do. Do I think that Michael Phelps was stupid… yes and no. People need to let off steam… but he did it in a big public area. Oops. In today’s world, every cell phone has a camera and everyone has a cell phone, so privacy is pretty much gone.

You live and die by the bong, I guess.

I’m sure Phelps will be fine. As for Chris Brown… I don’t know. We tend to forgive too easily. The world seems to love those who have sinned and been redeemed much more than those who have never sinned. Movies and songs and novels are built upon redemption. The media loves bad news… good news is boring. 

But I see what my daughter picks up on… and I see what she is exposed to, and it scares me.

So people… get your shit together, act like human beings and someone, please make Miley go away. Please.